Sunday, 6 December 2009

You Don't Bring Me Flowers Anymore

He gave me a red rose from his garden on our second date, wrapped in foil and plastic to keep it fresh. A week later, another one for his “Milady”. He treated me as a lady, looked after me, cared for me lovingly.

This sad song by Neil Diamond mourns the loss of a time when the relationship was good, when the relationship has turned sour, empty and the love is lost. Normally relationships go through phases and you can reflect where it started to go wrong.

“You don't bring me flowers
You don't sing me love songs
You hardly talk to me anymore
When you come through the door
At the end of the day

I remember when
You couldn't wait to love me
Used to hate to leave me.”

But when you are so happy and the other person suddenly goes, how do you make sense of that?

“It used to be so natural
To talk about forever
But "used to be's" don't count anymore
They just lay on the floor
'til we sweep them away .

And baby, I remember
All the things you taught me
I learned how to laugh
And I learned how to cry
Well I learned how to love…”

I can understand that some relationships run their course and one or both partners decide it is time to move on. But what I don’t understand is how both partners can be so happy, so close, still talking about forever and suddenly one day one partner decides to go, walk away and not look back. Not even want to stay in contact. How could he do that? How could he tell me one night that he loves my children then walk away from them the next day? How could he ask me at 2pm where we should live when we retire then walk away at 6pm, knowing he was not coming back?

I thought we went too fast and he got scared of the plans before us and how to make them come true. Worried about the financial responsibility of bringing two families together. I thought he had doubts that I would want to settle down with him. Maybe an insecurity that I would go back to my ex. But no, he told me that he formed an image in his mind and put me in that image, fell in love with that image then one day realized I was not that image and his heart went cold. Instead of seeing the real me, the wonderful me, with all the qualities I offered him, he just walked. He told me I could not have been any better a girlfriend, could not have done anything more. His heart just changed. He agrees with all the rational reasons for being together but does not find any love any more. He does not want to even start again slowly, just go out and do fun things together. Just close it down, concentrate fully on his work, pretend I don't exist. Yet my love for him runs so deep and after three weeks, the pain of a broken heart is still so very present.

On Thursday I gave him a red rose with the word “cherish”, cherish the wonderful time we had together. But I think he has already forgotten and I just don’t understand how he could do that so quickly.

“You Don’t Bring me Flowers” with the lyrics over beautiful images of flowers:

"A relationship is like a rose. How long it lasts, no one knows. Love can erase an awful past, love can be yours, you'll see at last. To feel that love, it makes you sigh. To have it leave, you'd rather die. You hope you've found that special rose, cause you love and care for the one you choose." - Rob Cella

©Antonia Harrison 2009 from Personal Development in the 21st Century and The Secret and Law of Attraction . Antonia Harrison is the English Hypnotherapist in Belgium and Personal Development speaker giving workshops to groups and companies.

Visit Antonia Harrison’s blog for information, jokes, opinions, videos - anything that might be of interest.

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