Friday, 24 October 2008

The Bird Feeder

I bought a bird feeder..
I hung it on my patio and filled
it lovingly with seed.
It was indeed a beautiful bird feeder.

Within a week we had hundreds of birds
taking advantage of the
continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.

But then the birds started
building nests in the boards of the patio,
above the table and next to the barbecue.

Then came the bird shit. It was everywhere;
on the patio tiles, the chairs, the table ...

Then some of the birds turned mean.
They would dive bomb me and try to peck me
even though I had fed them out of my own pocket.

And other birds were boisterous and loud.
They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at
all hours of the day and night
and demanded that I fill it
when it got low on food.

After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch
anymore. So I took down the bird feeder
and in three days the birds were gone.
I cleaned up their mess and took down
the many nests they had built all over the patio.

Soon, the back yard was like it used to be ...
quiet, serene and no one demanding their
rights to a free meal.

Now let's see ....
Gordon Brown & our government give out free food,
subsidized housing, free medical care, free education
and allow anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.

Then the illegals came by the millions.
Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for the free services;
small flats are housing 5 or more families;
you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by a doctor in an emergency surgery
because it is filled with illegal non tax payers;
your child's year 12 class is behind other schools because
over half the class doesn't speak English.

Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box;
I have to 'press one' to hear my bank talk to me in English
and people waving flags other than 'The Union Jack' are
squawking and screaming in the streets,
demanding more rights and free liberties.

Its just my opinion but:
maybe, just maybe, it's time for the government
to take down the damn bird feeder.

If you agree, pass it on; if not,
continue cleaning up the sh*t!

How the Credit Crunch will Affect Britain

Will one be wanting fries with that?

Saturday, 18 October 2008

Every Woman Should...

I found this on a singles club website:

… one old love she can imagine going back to
… and one who reminds her how far she has come
… a youth she's content to leave behind
… a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age…
… a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra…
… one friend who always makes her laugh
… and one who lets hers cry
… a feeling of control over her destiny

… how to fall in love without losing herself
… how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship
… when to try harder… and when to walk away
… that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents
… that her childhood may not have been perfect…but it's over
… what she would and wouldn't do for love or more
… whom she can trust, whom she can't and why she shouldn't take it personally
… where to go, be it to her best friend's kitchen table or a charming inn in the woods…when her soul needs soothing
… and how to change a tyre!!!!!!?