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Friday, 27 November 2009
Thursday, 26 November 2009
Gratitude quote
"On Thanksgiving Day, we must be thankful for what we have, rather than focus on what we have lost. We have so much. An attitude of gratitude is received by the universe and rewarded with more of what is good. Resentment, hurt, bitterness and sadness just close our hearts and fill us with negative energy leaving no room for anything of value." - Antonia Harrison
Video: How to Do the Moonwalk
Great. We've been trying for years. Now we know how, in slow motion.
Visit Antonia Harrison’s blog for information, jokes, opinions - anything that might be of interest.
Wednesday, 25 November 2009
Soulmates
I want to research about finding a soulmate. Here is what Wikipedia has to say:
A soulmate is somebody with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, and/or compatibility. A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul – which is thought to be the ultimate soulmate, the one and only other half of one's soul, for which all souls are driven to find and join. However, not everyone who uses these terms intends them to carry such mystical connotations.
One theory of soulmates, presented by Aristophanes in Plato's Symposium, is that humans originally consisted of four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces, but Zeus feared their power and split them all in half, condemning them to spend their lives searching for the other half to complete them:
Some people believe that souls are literally made and/or fated to be the mates of each other, or to play certain other important roles in each other's lives.
According to theories popularized by Theosophy and in a modified form by Edgar Cayce, God created androgynous souls, equally male and female. Later theories postulate that the souls split into separate genders, perhaps because they incurred karma while playing around on the Earth, or "separation from God". Over countless reincarnations, each half seeks the other. When all karmic debt is purged, the two will fuse back together and return to the ultimate.
A soulmate is somebody with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, and/or compatibility. A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul – which is thought to be the ultimate soulmate, the one and only other half of one's soul, for which all souls are driven to find and join. However, not everyone who uses these terms intends them to carry such mystical connotations.
One theory of soulmates, presented by Aristophanes in Plato's Symposium, is that humans originally consisted of four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces, but Zeus feared their power and split them all in half, condemning them to spend their lives searching for the other half to complete them:
"[Primeval man] could walk upright as men now do, backwards or forwards as he pleased, and he could also roll over and over at a great pace, turning on his four hands and four feet, eight in all, like tumblers going over and over with their legs in the air; this was when he wanted to run fast …Terrible was their might and strength, and the thoughts of their hearts were great, and they made an attack upon the gods ... Doubt reigned in the celestial councils. Should they kill them and annihilate the race with thunderbolts, as they had done the giants, then there would be an end of the sacrifices and worship which men offered to them; but, on the other hand, the gods could not suffer their insolence to be unrestrained. At last, after a good deal of reflection, Zeus discovered a way. He said: 'Methinks I have a plan which will humble their pride and improve their manners; men shall continue to exist, but I will cut them in two and then they will be diminished in strength and increased in numbers; this will have the advantage of making them more profitable to us. They shall walk upright on two legs, and if they continue insolent and will not be quiet, I will split them again and they shall hop about on a single leg." —Aristophanes, Plato’s Symposium, [1]
Some people believe that souls are literally made and/or fated to be the mates of each other, or to play certain other important roles in each other's lives.
According to theories popularized by Theosophy and in a modified form by Edgar Cayce, God created androgynous souls, equally male and female. Later theories postulate that the souls split into separate genders, perhaps because they incurred karma while playing around on the Earth, or "separation from God". Over countless reincarnations, each half seeks the other. When all karmic debt is purged, the two will fuse back together and return to the ultimate.
Mother Teresa Quote on Love
"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." - Mother Teresa
21 Wise Tips in Life
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, 'I love you ,' mean it.
FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, 'I love you ,' mean it.
FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.
Quotes for Today
“Be yourself, because everyone else is already taken.”- Oscar Wilde
“You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.”~Jim Rohn
"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."- Paulo Coehlo
"You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself." - Jim Rohn
"We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same."- Bob Proctor
Tuesday, 24 November 2009
Love Quotes
A few love quotes to reflect how I feel today:
So, as I go back to the universe and focus on the Law of Attraction,
‘I was born when you kissed me. I died when you left me. I lived a few weeks while you loved me.' - Humphrey Bogart
"When the heart grieves over what is has lost, the spirit rejoices over what it has left." - Sufi Epigram
"Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.
Mature love says: 'I need you because I love you." - Erich Fromm
“Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” - Shakespeare
“It really changed my life. When we split up, something changed, permanently, in me. My heart sort of broke that day, and it will never be the same." - Gwyneth Paltrow
So, as I go back to the universe and focus on the Law of Attraction,
"The basic question for every human being is... is the universe friendly?."- Albert Einstein
Monday, 23 November 2009
Life of Brian Ending
"Always look on the bright side of life..."
A friend sent this video to me this morning. Corny but good advice.
A friend sent this video to me this morning. Corny but good advice.
Sunday, 22 November 2009
The Pain When Your Soulmate Leaves You
Three months ago, I asked the angels to bring me a man who:
1. Would love me.
2. Would be emotionally available to me.
3. Would accept my kids.
My cousin commented that all three was maybe too much to hope for but I might find someone with one quality.
Two weeks later, Luc came into my life. He gave me all three and more. He offered me love, safety, security. We work in a similar field and discussed opportunities for working together with clients. I didn’t think I wanted a steady relationship and certainly not with someone who had kids but after four dates in one week and our children meeting one another, we knew we wanted to be together. He spoke of a “coming home” feeling. He wanted me to stay in his life for a very long time. He brought me a red rose from his garden. He told me loved me and we agreed to grow old together. "No more dating, I asked the Greek gods for a Lady and they brought me my Helen of Troy: Now we can grow old together". Dating was behind us. We had found each other. His parents were delighted that he had found such a good woman and looked forward to meeting me in the next couple of weeks. He told me he had always wanted to be married by 50 (nine months to go.)
Within two weeks we were talking of living together. Within three weeks he found us a house to buy. It suited us all. The children chose their bedrooms. His youngest son wanted to live with us full-time and the mother agreed that he could go to the same school as my sons.
After five weeks we went to London for five days and he met all my family who thought he was super and they were so happy for us. Everyone warned us not to go fast but we felt we had known each other for so long. There was every certainty that we really had found the person, Mr & Mrs Right.
Every day I was grateful that this loving, supportive, amusing, intelligent rock was in my life and would never leave me. We cherished our time together. We called each other, “Darling”, “My love”, “Sweetheart”. We cuddled, we held hands, we kept close to one another, even when working on our laptops.
But after 7½ weeks he walked out of my house for the last time unbeknown to me. Two days later I received an email, “end…sorry”. A wave of shock went through me. No particular reason. Just a feeling over the last week that this was not right and he did not want to carry on. His early feelings of love had dwindled.
Yet during that week he seemed so happy to me. He was living at my house going to work, cooking together, watching TV – normal family life. We were settled and had no need for anyone outside of our unit. On the Saturday he told me he loved my children. We talked about possibly staying in my house and he looked forward to putting in a vegetable garden as a hobby to supply fresh food.
I’ve sent him countless emails and only received one back saying that he is sticking to his decision. He asked me not to call, to give him space and distance to come to peace.
Every day pain, questions. Why did he do this? Did I do or say anything wrong? If so, I want to know to avoid doing it in the future. If I was the “top woman” he kept calling me, why did he stop loving me? Did he get overwhelmed by the reality and the responsibility of the future we were planning together? Did he worry that we could not afford the finances to provide for our monthly outgoings? Why did he see differences as a problem rather than just individuality that makes a relationship more interesting?
He once asked if a London lady could settle down with a “baker’s son from the village”. Did he not realize that I see him as he is now, not where he came from? I have enormous respect for what he has achieved in the last five years in a new field of business after he lose his first business. Some people would hide the “skeletons in the closet” but I was so glad that he told me everything. He expressed concern that he might be at the top of his earning power and might be lacking in work over the years. I see him as very competent and believe that his opportunities will grow. I would help him to grow and provide him all the support for continuing success.
Was he scared that I might go back to my ex-boyfriend who has been pining for me? Does he not believe in my deep, lasting love for him?
He said he still thinks about his ex. So what, I still think about mine. Anyone we have loved remains a part of us for always but we move on, our love for them changes, whether or not they stay in our life. I was glad with his honesty but I reminded him that she did not and does not love him. There is no way back to her. They are friends and she is pleased that he found someone who could give him what she could not. My ex said the same to me. He was happy that he no longer stood in my way because he believed Luc was the right man for me and my children.
So many questions. So many rational reasons why he could have talked himself out of this relationship but if there were doubts, we could have discussed them. I never heard any. I just heard assurances.
Our sons talked openly about becoming step-brothers if we got married. We joked with them about who would be the first to provide grandchildren.
We have booked a week in London at New Year and the boys were excited. Now we won’t be going and the costs cannot be refunded.
We are all going to lose so much because he changed his mind yet I don’t even know why.
My eldest son wrote to him,
He wrote that we went too fast and I had warned him that we should not do that. Did he get carried away with the dream instead of taking time to know the person? Yet he kept telling me how much he truly loved me.
A friend wrote,
I replied,
I was loving, kind, a good listener, supportive, I cooked for everyone, I did everything, the sex was great and yet he dumped me by email without even an explanation. Just wishing me happiness. Happiness! I found joy with him, a peace, a togetherness that I have never known.
I truly believe that he is the soulmate I never dared to hope I would find. I know with every ounce of my being that he is the right man for me and I thought I was the right woman for him. He is the father that my boys need and I showed that I could be a great second mum to his boys. He seemed so interested in my boys and just the day before he left, told me that he loved them.
How could he change so suddenly? How could he do this, to all of us, to his sons who also wanted us to be together? How could he shatter everyone’s dream?
Just a week before he was talking to a girlfriend of mine about a business opportunity with her company, telling her how happy we were and that we would visit together to discuss the business.
Four weeks ago, he left me a note thanking me for being such a wonderful mother and woman, such a good girlfriend, signed love you truly, yours forever.
A male friend asked me what I had done to “attract this into my life?” How did I attract this??? I was so happy, I never doubted him or us. I believed him and trusted him totally. I had asked the angels for such a man and here he was and I remembered the line from The Thornbirds, “You have the love of a man who will never leave you.” I was secure. I could give myself totally to this man and trust him with my heart, with my children’s hearts. He went on, “Change your mindset. You've been there before - so you should be getting better at recovery. What are the lessons?”
Change my mindset? Just ignore my pain, my grief, move on. Actually one more rejection makes it more difficult to recover, less reasons to believe there is someone who will love me, truly, for who I am.
Another male friend,
“A man who breaks up a relationship in a way like that is not worth to be with you. He isn’t even worth crying over … You deserve someone much better than that.” Sure, rationally, in cold light but I love this man so much.
Luc is a Leo, the lion. I wrote to him, “You were my strong man, my protector, my helper, my friend. I was safe with you and we could achieve everything together.”
There is a time to learn, a time to pick myself up and move on. But not yet. Men and women are different. Even the strongest women sometimes need to be a little girl again, reach for the tissues and allow the pain to come out. If it doesn't, it will never truly go away. My girlfriends are encouraging me to talk, to write as many emails as I need, to Skype and to say the same things over and over. It's not "poor me". It's the way that (most) women operate. I need to grieve, I need to understand. I can't just say "sod him" and look for someone else.
I don't want to be miserable and a burden but this has come as such a shock for me. I keep going over and over in my mind what could have caused this. Fortunately, I have friends who encourage me to keep talking to them, keep writing over and over, to let the pain out.
I need answers to find closure. I still don't know why Nicholas split up with me back in 1987 and that has kept him as the love of my life all this time. I need to know. It is the only way I can find any peace. One girlfriend said leave him be, connect with God/spirit/angels/the universe and you will found out why but I need to hear it from him. There could be some huge misunderstanding. I keep telling myself it is just panic on his side, realizing that he really had found what he wanted and this was it for the rest of our days. Yet he wrote, “The early love is melting like snow in the sun.” How can that be?
We should have been together this weekend, all six of us. Our sons should have been swimming together yesterday, receiving a visit from Sint Nicholas afterwards. He should have been sitting at the head of the dining table as head of our joined families. We should have been playing Monopoly today, the new World version that he bought for us in London three weeks ago. Instead, I have spent the day sharing my pain with the tremendous people who have been showing love and support to me.
I love him and miss him to the core of my being. Yes, it was short but I thought it was forever so that does not make it easier to get over. Of course, it is better to know now rather than when we would have bought a house together, leaving me with huge financial responsibility. If he had doubts, why didn’t we talk about them? It would be easier to bear if I had known he had doubts. But we were so together, so happy to just settle down together.
A male friend thinks that if I want him back - of course I do - the only way is to leave him completely alone which in itself might make him think because a man can only reflect when he is alone, his sons are not with him, he is watching TV alone, weekends that he could have been with me etc. In “Women are from Venus, Men Are From Mars”, John Gray says that women need to talk but men retreat to their cave. He has gone home to his house, his things so I shall leave him to concentrate on his work. If I want to write to him, I will draft an email but not send it. No texts, no phone calls. Just be brave and wait and hope.
If you want to pray for me, please do. I am calling on the angels - the universe - spirit to bring him back.
Maybe one day, he will contact me to explain. Maybe one day he will be ready to meet, to talk and I hope to the bottom of my heart that we could start again but in a different way. Slow down, just date, have fun rather than pore over financial details and discuss problems.
It might take weeks, months or maybe never and I have to accept that. Right now I cannot even start to believe there could be someone better for me and the boys. My son and I just had a long talk because he is as baffled as anyone. Over the next six weeks I have to get through my birthday, Christmas and New Year.
It might be wishful thinking but I believe he is my soulmate and “there can be only one” as he used to say. I’m a good woman. Why wouldn’t he want me?
I'm not giving up on my dream, our dream, the boys' hopes. I'm not prepared to get angry, call him a bastard and look for someone else. My ex always says he admired my determination to obtain my goal.
Why am I writing all this? To help me to grieve but also because I’d like to think my bearing my soul, sharing my experiences will speak to someone else, warn others not to go so fast, to fall in love truly with each other, not fall in love with love. Maybe that’s what he did. Found someone to tick his boxes then discovered I wasn’t that person. No, but I am worth being with. I have many qualities and so much love to give.
I hope you respect my honesty, my authenticity in sharing my most heartfelt and raw emotions.
I’m re-reading Richard Bach’s book “The Bridge Across Forever” in which he describes his search for his soulmate and the subsequent relationship with his future wife, Leslie Parrish. Very different people, different ideas, some different values but they found common ground, discussed differences and allowed love to develop. I think we were too busy looking at house details instead of just dating. By so doing, we lost sight of "us" and now we've lost what money cannot buy.
© Antonia Harrison 2009
1. Would love me.
2. Would be emotionally available to me.
3. Would accept my kids.
My cousin commented that all three was maybe too much to hope for but I might find someone with one quality.
Two weeks later, Luc came into my life. He gave me all three and more. He offered me love, safety, security. We work in a similar field and discussed opportunities for working together with clients. I didn’t think I wanted a steady relationship and certainly not with someone who had kids but after four dates in one week and our children meeting one another, we knew we wanted to be together. He spoke of a “coming home” feeling. He wanted me to stay in his life for a very long time. He brought me a red rose from his garden. He told me loved me and we agreed to grow old together. "No more dating, I asked the Greek gods for a Lady and they brought me my Helen of Troy: Now we can grow old together". Dating was behind us. We had found each other. His parents were delighted that he had found such a good woman and looked forward to meeting me in the next couple of weeks. He told me he had always wanted to be married by 50 (nine months to go.)
Within two weeks we were talking of living together. Within three weeks he found us a house to buy. It suited us all. The children chose their bedrooms. His youngest son wanted to live with us full-time and the mother agreed that he could go to the same school as my sons.
After five weeks we went to London for five days and he met all my family who thought he was super and they were so happy for us. Everyone warned us not to go fast but we felt we had known each other for so long. There was every certainty that we really had found the person, Mr & Mrs Right.
Every day I was grateful that this loving, supportive, amusing, intelligent rock was in my life and would never leave me. We cherished our time together. We called each other, “Darling”, “My love”, “Sweetheart”. We cuddled, we held hands, we kept close to one another, even when working on our laptops.
But after 7½ weeks he walked out of my house for the last time unbeknown to me. Two days later I received an email, “end…sorry”. A wave of shock went through me. No particular reason. Just a feeling over the last week that this was not right and he did not want to carry on. His early feelings of love had dwindled.
Yet during that week he seemed so happy to me. He was living at my house going to work, cooking together, watching TV – normal family life. We were settled and had no need for anyone outside of our unit. On the Saturday he told me he loved my children. We talked about possibly staying in my house and he looked forward to putting in a vegetable garden as a hobby to supply fresh food.
I’ve sent him countless emails and only received one back saying that he is sticking to his decision. He asked me not to call, to give him space and distance to come to peace.
Every day pain, questions. Why did he do this? Did I do or say anything wrong? If so, I want to know to avoid doing it in the future. If I was the “top woman” he kept calling me, why did he stop loving me? Did he get overwhelmed by the reality and the responsibility of the future we were planning together? Did he worry that we could not afford the finances to provide for our monthly outgoings? Why did he see differences as a problem rather than just individuality that makes a relationship more interesting?
He once asked if a London lady could settle down with a “baker’s son from the village”. Did he not realize that I see him as he is now, not where he came from? I have enormous respect for what he has achieved in the last five years in a new field of business after he lose his first business. Some people would hide the “skeletons in the closet” but I was so glad that he told me everything. He expressed concern that he might be at the top of his earning power and might be lacking in work over the years. I see him as very competent and believe that his opportunities will grow. I would help him to grow and provide him all the support for continuing success.
Was he scared that I might go back to my ex-boyfriend who has been pining for me? Does he not believe in my deep, lasting love for him?
He said he still thinks about his ex. So what, I still think about mine. Anyone we have loved remains a part of us for always but we move on, our love for them changes, whether or not they stay in our life. I was glad with his honesty but I reminded him that she did not and does not love him. There is no way back to her. They are friends and she is pleased that he found someone who could give him what she could not. My ex said the same to me. He was happy that he no longer stood in my way because he believed Luc was the right man for me and my children.
So many questions. So many rational reasons why he could have talked himself out of this relationship but if there were doubts, we could have discussed them. I never heard any. I just heard assurances.
Our sons talked openly about becoming step-brothers if we got married. We joked with them about who would be the first to provide grandchildren.
We have booked a week in London at New Year and the boys were excited. Now we won’t be going and the costs cannot be refunded.
We are all going to lose so much because he changed his mind yet I don’t even know why.
My eldest son wrote to him,
“Mummy was very sad about your message and wishes that you could at least see each other or call each other. She was so happy with you and we were happy that she was happy. You looked very happy with Mummy. I had never seen Mummy so happy before. It was a big shock when Mummy told us.
We both think you were all great friends. Please change your mind. Please come back together.”
He wrote that we went too fast and I had warned him that we should not do that. Did he get carried away with the dream instead of taking time to know the person? Yet he kept telling me how much he truly loved me.
A friend wrote,
“What a very sad letter we received this morning. I am amazed and terribly sorry that this happened - things seemed so perfect that it is quite a shock to us as well. You must be going through the agony of the damned and my heartfelt sympathy is with you.”
I replied,
“I am stunned and in so much pain. I don't want to sound dramatic but I honestly thought a heart attack was starting this morning. I just wish Luc would talk to me and explain why he changed apparently from one hour to the next.”
I was loving, kind, a good listener, supportive, I cooked for everyone, I did everything, the sex was great and yet he dumped me by email without even an explanation. Just wishing me happiness. Happiness! I found joy with him, a peace, a togetherness that I have never known.
I truly believe that he is the soulmate I never dared to hope I would find. I know with every ounce of my being that he is the right man for me and I thought I was the right woman for him. He is the father that my boys need and I showed that I could be a great second mum to his boys. He seemed so interested in my boys and just the day before he left, told me that he loved them.
How could he change so suddenly? How could he do this, to all of us, to his sons who also wanted us to be together? How could he shatter everyone’s dream?
Just a week before he was talking to a girlfriend of mine about a business opportunity with her company, telling her how happy we were and that we would visit together to discuss the business.
Four weeks ago, he left me a note thanking me for being such a wonderful mother and woman, such a good girlfriend, signed love you truly, yours forever.
A male friend asked me what I had done to “attract this into my life?” How did I attract this??? I was so happy, I never doubted him or us. I believed him and trusted him totally. I had asked the angels for such a man and here he was and I remembered the line from The Thornbirds, “You have the love of a man who will never leave you.” I was secure. I could give myself totally to this man and trust him with my heart, with my children’s hearts. He went on, “Change your mindset. You've been there before - so you should be getting better at recovery. What are the lessons?”
Change my mindset? Just ignore my pain, my grief, move on. Actually one more rejection makes it more difficult to recover, less reasons to believe there is someone who will love me, truly, for who I am.
Another male friend,
“A man who breaks up a relationship in a way like that is not worth to be with you. He isn’t even worth crying over … You deserve someone much better than that.” Sure, rationally, in cold light but I love this man so much.
Luc is a Leo, the lion. I wrote to him, “You were my strong man, my protector, my helper, my friend. I was safe with you and we could achieve everything together.”
There is a time to learn, a time to pick myself up and move on. But not yet. Men and women are different. Even the strongest women sometimes need to be a little girl again, reach for the tissues and allow the pain to come out. If it doesn't, it will never truly go away. My girlfriends are encouraging me to talk, to write as many emails as I need, to Skype and to say the same things over and over. It's not "poor me". It's the way that (most) women operate. I need to grieve, I need to understand. I can't just say "sod him" and look for someone else.
I don't want to be miserable and a burden but this has come as such a shock for me. I keep going over and over in my mind what could have caused this. Fortunately, I have friends who encourage me to keep talking to them, keep writing over and over, to let the pain out.
I need answers to find closure. I still don't know why Nicholas split up with me back in 1987 and that has kept him as the love of my life all this time. I need to know. It is the only way I can find any peace. One girlfriend said leave him be, connect with God/spirit/angels/the universe and you will found out why but I need to hear it from him. There could be some huge misunderstanding. I keep telling myself it is just panic on his side, realizing that he really had found what he wanted and this was it for the rest of our days. Yet he wrote, “The early love is melting like snow in the sun.” How can that be?
We should have been together this weekend, all six of us. Our sons should have been swimming together yesterday, receiving a visit from Sint Nicholas afterwards. He should have been sitting at the head of the dining table as head of our joined families. We should have been playing Monopoly today, the new World version that he bought for us in London three weeks ago. Instead, I have spent the day sharing my pain with the tremendous people who have been showing love and support to me.
I love him and miss him to the core of my being. Yes, it was short but I thought it was forever so that does not make it easier to get over. Of course, it is better to know now rather than when we would have bought a house together, leaving me with huge financial responsibility. If he had doubts, why didn’t we talk about them? It would be easier to bear if I had known he had doubts. But we were so together, so happy to just settle down together.
A male friend thinks that if I want him back - of course I do - the only way is to leave him completely alone which in itself might make him think because a man can only reflect when he is alone, his sons are not with him, he is watching TV alone, weekends that he could have been with me etc. In “Women are from Venus, Men Are From Mars”, John Gray says that women need to talk but men retreat to their cave. He has gone home to his house, his things so I shall leave him to concentrate on his work. If I want to write to him, I will draft an email but not send it. No texts, no phone calls. Just be brave and wait and hope.
If you want to pray for me, please do. I am calling on the angels - the universe - spirit to bring him back.
Maybe one day, he will contact me to explain. Maybe one day he will be ready to meet, to talk and I hope to the bottom of my heart that we could start again but in a different way. Slow down, just date, have fun rather than pore over financial details and discuss problems.
It might take weeks, months or maybe never and I have to accept that. Right now I cannot even start to believe there could be someone better for me and the boys. My son and I just had a long talk because he is as baffled as anyone. Over the next six weeks I have to get through my birthday, Christmas and New Year.
It might be wishful thinking but I believe he is my soulmate and “there can be only one” as he used to say. I’m a good woman. Why wouldn’t he want me?
I'm not giving up on my dream, our dream, the boys' hopes. I'm not prepared to get angry, call him a bastard and look for someone else. My ex always says he admired my determination to obtain my goal.
Why am I writing all this? To help me to grieve but also because I’d like to think my bearing my soul, sharing my experiences will speak to someone else, warn others not to go so fast, to fall in love truly with each other, not fall in love with love. Maybe that’s what he did. Found someone to tick his boxes then discovered I wasn’t that person. No, but I am worth being with. I have many qualities and so much love to give.
I hope you respect my honesty, my authenticity in sharing my most heartfelt and raw emotions.
I’m re-reading Richard Bach’s book “The Bridge Across Forever” in which he describes his search for his soulmate and the subsequent relationship with his future wife, Leslie Parrish. Very different people, different ideas, some different values but they found common ground, discussed differences and allowed love to develop. I think we were too busy looking at house details instead of just dating. By so doing, we lost sight of "us" and now we've lost what money cannot buy.
© Antonia Harrison 2009
Friday, 20 November 2009
BraveHeart Women
When I first read this quote by The Dali Lama I was quite intrigued. He said, "The world will be saved by the woman."
I sincerely believe that The Dali Lama is spot on regarding the powerful influence women have in our world today. We all know women who are inspiration in action which is exactly why I knew I had to share this with you...
Ellie Drake, rocked the business world in 2007 by creating the BraveHeart Women's Online Community, an innovative resource she designed to help women entrepreneurs
join together like never before in a mutual commitment to success.
Ellie told about the powerful women (Dr. Maya Angelou, Leeza Gibbons, Mariel Hemmingway, Susan Anton,and Lisa Nichols of 'The Secret' fame, just to name a few) who are part of the BraveHeart Community.
This (FREE) social networking site empowers women of all ages to discover their own voices, expand their potential, and be the change they want for themselves, their family, their community, and the world. Ellie and The Women of The BraveHeart Community have extended a special invitation to Unemployed Millionaires which I
encourage you to take advantage of right away:
BraveHeart Women Global Community
Here are a few things you will learn from The BraveHeart Community:
How ONE SIMPLE SHIFT IN YOUR AWARENESS produces astronomically more results in less time, with less effort (you'll be astonished at how productive you are with this devastatingly easy change);
How the thoughts of successful WOMEN LEADERS ARE DIFFERENT from the thoughts of average women (and how those differences play out in all personal and professional
achievements);
How to banish useless energy like GUILT, SHAME and REGRET from your brain so you can stop beating yourself up (women in particular play out negative emotions over and over in their heads, which can make them feel horrible);
How to buck the PROCRASTINATION PATTERN any of us can slip into (you can't step up to being your strongest self if you can't get stuff done);
How to INSTANTLY shift your attitude to transform your personal ability to lead and inspire (moods and emotions don't have to control your destiny);
How to easily break down and dissect the steps of TRUE PERSONAL, PROFESSIONAL and GLOBAL FULFILLMENT (it's shockingly simple when it's laid out for you);
How to 'DETOX' areas of your life today so you can realize your dreams and get out of your own way (break the cycle of repeating habits that don't serve you anymore);
How to quickly discover your 'LIFE PURPOSE' and put it into action (the Braveheart Community is tailored for meaningful connections and insights);
How to easily uncover and OVERCOME BLIND SPOTS that hold you back from being your most magnificent self (all too often it is US holding ourselves back);
Please feel free to share this with any woman who is inspiration in action:
BraveHeart Women Global Community
P.S. Did I mention the cost for registering for the *BraveHeart Women Global Community* is 100% FREE of charge?
I sincerely believe that The Dali Lama is spot on regarding the powerful influence women have in our world today. We all know women who are inspiration in action which is exactly why I knew I had to share this with you...
Ellie Drake, rocked the business world in 2007 by creating the BraveHeart Women's Online Community, an innovative resource she designed to help women entrepreneurs
join together like never before in a mutual commitment to success.
Ellie told about the powerful women (Dr. Maya Angelou, Leeza Gibbons, Mariel Hemmingway, Susan Anton,and Lisa Nichols of 'The Secret' fame, just to name a few) who are part of the BraveHeart Community.
This (FREE) social networking site empowers women of all ages to discover their own voices, expand their potential, and be the change they want for themselves, their family, their community, and the world. Ellie and The Women of The BraveHeart Community have extended a special invitation to Unemployed Millionaires which I
encourage you to take advantage of right away:
BraveHeart Women Global Community
Here are a few things you will learn from The BraveHeart Community:
How ONE SIMPLE SHIFT IN YOUR AWARENESS produces astronomically more results in less time, with less effort (you'll be astonished at how productive you are with this devastatingly easy change);
How the thoughts of successful WOMEN LEADERS ARE DIFFERENT from the thoughts of average women (and how those differences play out in all personal and professional
achievements);
How to banish useless energy like GUILT, SHAME and REGRET from your brain so you can stop beating yourself up (women in particular play out negative emotions over and over in their heads, which can make them feel horrible);
How to buck the PROCRASTINATION PATTERN any of us can slip into (you can't step up to being your strongest self if you can't get stuff done);
How to INSTANTLY shift your attitude to transform your personal ability to lead and inspire (moods and emotions don't have to control your destiny);
How to easily break down and dissect the steps of TRUE PERSONAL, PROFESSIONAL and GLOBAL FULFILLMENT (it's shockingly simple when it's laid out for you);
How to 'DETOX' areas of your life today so you can realize your dreams and get out of your own way (break the cycle of repeating habits that don't serve you anymore);
How to quickly discover your 'LIFE PURPOSE' and put it into action (the Braveheart Community is tailored for meaningful connections and insights);
How to easily uncover and OVERCOME BLIND SPOTS that hold you back from being your most magnificent self (all too often it is US holding ourselves back);
Please feel free to share this with any woman who is inspiration in action:
BraveHeart Women Global Community
P.S. Did I mention the cost for registering for the *BraveHeart Women Global Community* is 100% FREE of charge?
Thursday, 19 November 2009
Four Tips to De-Stress Your Spirt
Loss of zest, life purpose or identity stresses the human spirit.
How you define who you are, and the meaning and purpose of life is core to the health of your spirit. You experience spiritual stress when these definitions are challenged or unclear. The human spirit asks, “Who am I”, “What is life about” and “What is my purpose”?
These questions peak at times of significant life change or loss as in the identity challenges of adolescence and mid-life or loss of a child, spouse, job or body part.
Attaching identity and purpose to variables outside your control makes you vulnerable to spiritual stress.
Here are four tips to de-stress your spirit.
Tip # 1 ~ Connect with Self
Look deep into your eyes in a mirror. Contemplate. Who is looking? Realize the same awareness inside of you today has been there from the beginning of your life. Your body, emotions and thoughts change yet abiding through the changes is an unchanging, You. This invulnerable core is a foundation for inner strength and support.
Why it works ~
When you are not dependent on outer conditions to define yourself, you feel free. While the outer world is constantly changing and undependable. Your inner being is solid, grounded in reality and invulnerable to attack by others. Viktor Frankl describes this beautifully in “Man’s Search for Meaning”.
Tip # 2 ~ Connect with the moment
Feel the water on your hands as you wash them. Notice the specific way you wash them, the slipperiness of the soap, the temperature of the water. Feel your feet on the ground, notice the sights, sounds and smells around you.
Feeling your experience in the moment is a practice in being present that helps you connect with life in a deep and meaningful way. Set an intention at the beginning of your day to stop and be present more often. You will find this practice reduces stress by increasing awareness and meaning.
Why it works ~
Your mind can only attend to one thing at a time. When your mind is focused on the details of the moment, it cannot ruminate about the past or worry about the future, which are stressful.
Connecting to the present moment centers, relaxes and enlivens your life experience. The insight, knowledge and experience of this moment is available to you. You have a sense of control within your self, which reduces stress.
Tip # 3 ~ Connect with your purpose
How do you know what is important to you? You feel it in your body.
Notice the small voice or sense of knowing inside when something is attracting you.Your body alerts you to what is dangerous or attractive long before your mind can explain why. Pay attention to those cues. This is your intuition.
Your deepest values and purpose are not in your head, but in your heart. What does your heart respond to; what touches you?
Purpose is the force that energizes. It inspires you to get up in the morning. What excites your passion for life?
Why it works ~
When your inner promptings guide you, you cannot make a mistake. These are signs that lead to your truest desires and lasting happiness. Joseph Campbell, the great mythologist says, “Follow your bliss”. When you follow your true path or calling, you are invigorated rather than stressed.
Tip # 4 ~ Connect with nature
You are part of a larger cosmos. You are not isolated as the boundaries of your body suggest. Whether you look at life from a religious, spiritual or scientific perspective, what you think and feel affects the environment and the environment affects you.
Spending time in nature reconnects you to your natural rhythms. It is easy to lose your center when your attention is constantly captured by other people, television, computer, shopping, and so on. Taking time every day to be quiet in a
natural setting, reflecting, journaling, or just being present re-connects you to your truth.
Take a moment to smell a flower, watch the river flow by, or appreciate a tree when you take a break or before going home at the end of the workday.
Why it works~
Earth vibrates at a certain frequency. Spending time in nature synchronizes our vibrations to the natural vibrations that support us.
Closed up in hermetically sealed buildings with florescent lighting and re-circulating air all day can cause a loss of balance and connection with your self and your natural rhythms.
Pulling it together
Spiritual stress results from the loss of connection to your true self, values, purpose and nature. Taking time every day to re-connect with these aspects of your life reduces stress and supports happiness, security and connection.
© 2009 Aila Accad
—————————————————-
Aila Accad, RN, MSN, Your Stress-Busters Coach is an award-winning speaker, best-selling author and spiritual coach who inspires and supports people to free their lives from stress and reclaim inner power. Quick tips to de-stress fast with no extra time or money” is available now with $1200 in free self-growth downloadable gifts at www.stressbustersbook.com
Sign up for De-Stress Tips & News at www.ailaspeaks.com and receive the “Ten Instant Stress Busters” e-book.
How you define who you are, and the meaning and purpose of life is core to the health of your spirit. You experience spiritual stress when these definitions are challenged or unclear. The human spirit asks, “Who am I”, “What is life about” and “What is my purpose”?
These questions peak at times of significant life change or loss as in the identity challenges of adolescence and mid-life or loss of a child, spouse, job or body part.
Attaching identity and purpose to variables outside your control makes you vulnerable to spiritual stress.
Here are four tips to de-stress your spirit.
Tip # 1 ~ Connect with Self
Look deep into your eyes in a mirror. Contemplate. Who is looking? Realize the same awareness inside of you today has been there from the beginning of your life. Your body, emotions and thoughts change yet abiding through the changes is an unchanging, You. This invulnerable core is a foundation for inner strength and support.
Why it works ~
When you are not dependent on outer conditions to define yourself, you feel free. While the outer world is constantly changing and undependable. Your inner being is solid, grounded in reality and invulnerable to attack by others. Viktor Frankl describes this beautifully in “Man’s Search for Meaning”.
Tip # 2 ~ Connect with the moment
Feel the water on your hands as you wash them. Notice the specific way you wash them, the slipperiness of the soap, the temperature of the water. Feel your feet on the ground, notice the sights, sounds and smells around you.
Feeling your experience in the moment is a practice in being present that helps you connect with life in a deep and meaningful way. Set an intention at the beginning of your day to stop and be present more often. You will find this practice reduces stress by increasing awareness and meaning.
Why it works ~
Your mind can only attend to one thing at a time. When your mind is focused on the details of the moment, it cannot ruminate about the past or worry about the future, which are stressful.
Connecting to the present moment centers, relaxes and enlivens your life experience. The insight, knowledge and experience of this moment is available to you. You have a sense of control within your self, which reduces stress.
Tip # 3 ~ Connect with your purpose
How do you know what is important to you? You feel it in your body.
Notice the small voice or sense of knowing inside when something is attracting you.Your body alerts you to what is dangerous or attractive long before your mind can explain why. Pay attention to those cues. This is your intuition.
Your deepest values and purpose are not in your head, but in your heart. What does your heart respond to; what touches you?
Purpose is the force that energizes. It inspires you to get up in the morning. What excites your passion for life?
Why it works ~
When your inner promptings guide you, you cannot make a mistake. These are signs that lead to your truest desires and lasting happiness. Joseph Campbell, the great mythologist says, “Follow your bliss”. When you follow your true path or calling, you are invigorated rather than stressed.
Tip # 4 ~ Connect with nature
You are part of a larger cosmos. You are not isolated as the boundaries of your body suggest. Whether you look at life from a religious, spiritual or scientific perspective, what you think and feel affects the environment and the environment affects you.
Spending time in nature reconnects you to your natural rhythms. It is easy to lose your center when your attention is constantly captured by other people, television, computer, shopping, and so on. Taking time every day to be quiet in a
natural setting, reflecting, journaling, or just being present re-connects you to your truth.
Take a moment to smell a flower, watch the river flow by, or appreciate a tree when you take a break or before going home at the end of the workday.
Why it works~
Earth vibrates at a certain frequency. Spending time in nature synchronizes our vibrations to the natural vibrations that support us.
Closed up in hermetically sealed buildings with florescent lighting and re-circulating air all day can cause a loss of balance and connection with your self and your natural rhythms.
Pulling it together
Spiritual stress results from the loss of connection to your true self, values, purpose and nature. Taking time every day to re-connect with these aspects of your life reduces stress and supports happiness, security and connection.
© 2009 Aila Accad
—————————————————-
Aila Accad, RN, MSN, Your Stress-Busters Coach is an award-winning speaker, best-selling author and spiritual coach who inspires and supports people to free their lives from stress and reclaim inner power. Quick tips to de-stress fast with no extra time or money” is available now with $1200 in free self-growth downloadable gifts at www.stressbustersbook.com
Sign up for De-Stress Tips & News at www.ailaspeaks.com and receive the “Ten Instant Stress Busters” e-book.
Wednesday, 18 November 2009
Everyone Wants to Be Loved
"Understand that everyone (including you) just wants to be loved and appreciated for who they are, not what you or others expect them to be. Their own set of values determines their identity and who they are. Everyone makes their decisions according to their own values. Every decision will be made according to what they feel will give them the greatest advantages over disadvantages, greatest rewards over risks."
- Dr John Demartini
Tuesday, 17 November 2009
Richard Bach Quote
"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly." - Richard Bach
Tuesday, 10 November 2009
When to Prospect for New Clients
It's been said that there are only three times when you should be prospecting for new clients:
1) When you don't have enough clients
2) When you have too many clients
3) When you have just the right number of clients
1) When you don't have enough clients
2) When you have too many clients
3) When you have just the right number of clients
Friday, 6 November 2009
Life is a Gift
Today
before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak.
Before
you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before
you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.
Today
before you complain about life - Think of someone who died too early on this earth.
Before
you complain about your children - Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.
Before
you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep - Think of the people who are living in the streets.
Before
whining about the distance you drive Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
And when
you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.
But
before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another - Remember that not one of us is without sin.
And when
depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still around.
before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak.
Before
you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before
you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.
Today
before you complain about life - Think of someone who died too early on this earth.
Before
you complain about your children - Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.
Before
you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep - Think of the people who are living in the streets.
Before
whining about the distance you drive Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
And when
you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.
But
before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another - Remember that not one of us is without sin.
And when
depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still around.
True Love Means
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot...
..who calls you back when you hang up on him...
..who will stay awake just to watch you sleep...
..wait for the guy who kisses your forehead...
..who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats...
..who holds your hand in front of his friends...
..wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you...
..wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her
Just think about it
There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'
One day,someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.
He asked her,'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life
led her to refuse to marry him.
Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'
This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.
..who calls you back when you hang up on him...
..who will stay awake just to watch you sleep...
..wait for the guy who kisses your forehead...
..who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats...
..who holds your hand in front of his friends...
..wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you...
..wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her
Just think about it
There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'
One day,someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.
He asked her,'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life
led her to refuse to marry him.
Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'
This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.
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