The 5 Stages of Grief or Loss

In the book, On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss Elizabeth Kübler-Ross identified five stages in the grief process:

Denial:
- "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me!" No crying, looking for the person in familiar places.

Anger:
"Why me? It's not fair!" "NO! NO! How can this happen!"

Bargaining:
"Just let me live to see my children graduate." "I'll do anything, can't you stretch it out? A few more years."


Depression:
"I'm so sad, why bother with anything?". "I'm going to die . . . What's the point?" Includes overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self pity, mourning loss as well as the hopes, dreams and plans for the future. Feeling lack of control, feeling numb, possibly suicidal.

Acceptance:
"It's going to be OK."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it." Resignation is different to acceptance. You have to accept the loss, not just try to bear it quietly. Realization that it takes two to make or break a relationship, that the person who died did not leave you on purpose (even in cases of suicide, often the deceased person was not in their right frame of mind) Finding the good that can come out of the pain of loss, finding comfort and healing. Our goals turn toward personal growth. Stay with fond memories of the person.

These stages of grief can be applied to any form of catastrophic personal loss eg job, relationship, death of a loved one, a body part.

There is no set order for experiencing these stages. Some people only experience a couple but if stuck in one stage or the other, the process of grieving is not complete and cannot be complete. For complete healing, a person MUST go through the five stages to be well again, to heal. No one can force anyone to work through the stages and each person must go at their own pace, sometimes going backwards before forwards. It is up to the individual but vital for healing.

To feel pain after loss is normal. It shows that we are alive, that we care, that we love.

When my step-father died suddenly in the UK, the bereavement counselling charity Cruse helped my mother enormously. I really do not know what we would have done without that lovely lady's help.

Book: On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss available from amazon.



Click here to find out how hypnosis can help to heal a broken heart.

Source: Wikipedia

What are Threenagers?

Threenagers are 30+ ers who earn a good living but live like teenagers, spending their money on the newest trends like iPhone. They are not interested in living together and raising children. They would rather go out to parties and live life to the full.

MTV interviewed 25.000 people between 16 and 46 years in 18 Western countries (Argentina, Australia, Brazil, China, Denmark, Germany, Holland, Italy, India, Japan, Mexico, New Zealand, Poland, Spain, Saudi Arabia, Sweden, UK and USA, January - August 2008) about their lifestyle.

It is of no surprise that the majority are men.

Why Do I Forward Jokes?

This explains why I forward jokes....

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'

'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered.

'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked.

'Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up.'

The man gestured and the gate began to open.

'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveller asked.

'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'

'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.'

'How about my friend here?' the traveller gestured to the dog.

'There should be a bowl by the pump.'

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveller filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.

'What do you call this place?' the traveller asked.

'This is Heaven,' he answered.

'Well, that's confusing,' the traveller said. 'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.'

'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.'

'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'

'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.'

Soooo

Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word.

Maybe this will explain.

When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes.

When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes.

When you have something to say, but don't know what and don't know how, you forward jokes.

Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get?

A forwarded joke.

So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.

You are all welcome @ my water bowl anytime

Can You See the Ocean?

I have no idea how this works,but I have been told that if you stare at the picture long enough, you can see the ocean......?

No, I've sat here for 3 hours and still can't see it!!!

John Sergeant Withdraws from Strictly Come Dancing

John Sergeant has done the decent thing and graciously withdrawn from Strictly Come Dancing 2008.



The 64 year old BBC political commentator delighted the public with his humour and week after week, they voted to keep him in the competition. Much as we have enjoyed his participation, we have to admit that it is a dance competition and much better dancers have been eliminated simply because they found themselves in the dance-off, rather than John. Finding himself in the last 8 of 16 celebrity dancers, there was a real chance that the public could vote to keep him in right up to the final which really would make a mockery of the competition. It is primarily about dancing, not personality.

Some people have already commented that people should complain in the thousands to bring him back to the show. I think we must accept John's decision graciously.

Happy Families

"Happiness is having a large closeknit family...in another city."
- George Burns

Il Divo New Album The Promise

The gorgeous, sexy, talented four international male singers of pop-opera Il Divo have just released their new album The Promise. Here is their version of The Power of Love in Spanish called La Fuerza Mayor:


The Promise is available from Amazon UK for just £8.98 or The Promise: Luxury Edition/+DVD for just £17.98. (Free delivery over £5.00)

Here is what Amazon say:

"Il Divo, the multi-million selling classical crossover malevocal group, have recorded another accomplished and assuredrecord in 'The Promise'. As is now traditional with this fledgling genre, a range of pop standards are tackled in epic close harmony and with semi-orchestral arrangements - this time around we hear the likes of Leonard Cohen's 'Hallelujah'(undoubtedly influenced by Jeff Buckley's seminal interpretation), Abba's 'The Winner Takes It All' and even Frankie Goes To Hollywood's 'The Power Of Love'. At the centre of thisrecord is a bold attempt to deliver a more refined style ofmusic to its audience, but with enough accessibility to still hit the right pop notes."

Track list:
1. The Power Of Love (La Fuerza Mayor)
2. La Promessa
3. Adagio
4. Hallelujah (Aleluya)
5. The Winner Takes It All (Va Todo Al Ganador)
6. Enamorado
7. Angelina
8. With You I'm Born Again (Por Ti Vuelvo A Nacer)
9. La Luna
10. She
11. Amazing Grace

In case you missed any of Il Divo's earlier CDs or DVDs, they are all available at Amazon UK. Just click on any graphic:


Find details of the Il Divo 2009 tour at www.IlDivo.com

Barack Obama's Book Dreams From My Father

Amazon.co.uk are offering Barack Obama's book Dreams From My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance for just £4.49.

Review
"* 'This may be the best-written memoir ever produced by an American politician.' - Joe Klein, Time * 'Whatever else people expect from a politician, it's not usually a beautifully written personal memoir steeped in honesty. Barack Obama has produced one.' - Oona King, The Times * 'Obama's writing is characterised throughout by a graceful eloquence, a generosity of perception and spirit rare in young men of many gifts and charisma...here is a testimony for the ages.' - Candace Allen, Independent * 'It is an almost illicit pleasure to be reading the unspun memories of a man who may yet become president of the US.' - Guardian"

Sunday HeraldTthe book impresses far more than the typical political memoir.

Sunday Times
'Obama has written a memoir...that evokes the anguish of miscegenation yet culminates in a cry of faith in human community.'

The Times
'Because he held to the good and transcended the bad, in Obama's genesis millions of us will find hope.'

Product Description
Barack Obama's memoir, written long before his political career began, is a remarkable story of one man's search for his identity

The son of a black African father and a white American mother, Obama was only two years old when his father walked out on the family. Many years later, Obama receives a phone call from Nairobi: his father is dead. This sudden news inspires an emotional odyssey for Obama, determined to learn the truth of his father's life and reconcile his divided inheritance. Written at the age of thirty-three, Dreams from my Father is an unforgettable read. it illuminates not only Obama's journey, but also our universal desire to understand our history, and what makes us the people we are.

From the Back Cover
'A man with a phenomenal life story.' Spectator Before Barack Obama became a politician he was, among other things, a writer. Dreams from My Father is his masterpeice: a refreshing, revealing portrait of a young man asking the big questions about identity and belonging. The son of a black African father and a white American mother, Obama recounts an emotional odyssey. He retraces the migration of his mother's family from Kansas to Hawaii, then to his childhood home in Indonesia. Finally he travels to Kenya, where he confronts the bitter truth of his father's life and at last reconciles his divided inheritance. 'Whatever else people expect from a politician, it's not usually a beautifully written personal memoir steeped in honesty. Barack Obama has produced one.' Oona King, The Times 'This may be the best-written memoir ever produced by an American politician.' Joe Klein, Time 'A best-seller because of its freshness and honesty.' Christopher Hitchens, Sunday Times 'A remarkable story, beautifully told.' Robert McCrum, Observer

About the Author
Barack Obama was born in Honolulu in 1961. In his early twenties he found his vocation working among poor communities on the south side of Chicago. Later he went to law school at Harvard University, where he became the first black president of the Harvard Law Review. In 1995 he published his memoir Dreams from My Father, which became a bestseller soon after it was reissued in 2004. After returning to Chicago, he was elected to the Illinois State Senate in 1996. Barack Obama delivered the keynote address at the 2004 Democratic National Convention, and later that year he was elected to the US Senate. His second book, The Audacity of Hope, was published in 2006 and became an immediate bestseller. In November 2008 Senator Obama beat John McCain to become the 44th President of the United States of America. He is married to Michelle, with whom he has two daughters, Sasha and Malia.

Everyone Loves Amazon

Amazon sell just about everything anyone could possibly want including books, CDs, DVDs, electronics, toys, homewares - you name it. They also have a great wish list facility whereby people can add to or modify their wish list at any time. Amazon then makes further recommendations based on their choices and purchases.

As if that wasn't enough, they offer extremely competitive prices even taking postage/shipping costs into consideration. Amazon UK now offer free delivery in the UK on orders over £5.

So the ideal present for anyone is Amazon Gift Certificates, available in every value between £5 and £500 and with free delivery. They are available as
an e-mail gift certificate, paper gift certificate or you can also print them yourself

Click here to give Amazon Gift Certificates.



Antonia Harrison blog

Tony Blair on Catherine Tate Show

Remember Tony Blair appearing on the Catherine Tate Show? "Am I bovvered?"

Why Did My Son Have a Second Dose of MMR Vaccine?

My 10 year old son received a second dose of MMR vaccine today in Belgium, having received the first at 14 months in the UK.

I did not know children received a second dose so I looked up some information:
http://www.immunize.org/vis/mmr03.pdf - What you need to know about MMR
http://www.immunisation.nhs.uk/Vaccines/MMR/The_vaccine/mmr_two_doses Why are two doses of MMR necesary?

I know there is a huge debate about vaccinating children and the slim chances of a negative reaction. Personally, I think that I have to protect my children and others around them from even the smallest chance of contracting a serious or life-threatening illness. If the norm is to give these vaccinations to millions of children, that must be for a sound scientific reason.

Free Coffee Machine from Pabo Online Sex Shop

PABO, the online sex shop, has a great new catalogue with beautiful lingerie, extremely naughty lingerie, sex toys for him & her, DVDs and lots more.

Not only lots of lovely and fun ideas but also a FREE coffee machine when you order online. Supplies are limited so visit PABO today. Request a catalogue or browse online. If you request a catalogue there will be a code to order online and receive your free coffee machine. The offer applies to Pabo sites in 7 countries.












Just some of Pabo lingerie ranges:

Woman Remote Control

A chauvanistic male friend just sent me this:


I am sure there is a perfect reply but I can't think of one right now. Perhaps my lady readers will help me.