Little Girl on A Plane

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said,
'Let's talk. I heard that flights go quicker if you sart a conversation with your fellow passenger.'

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'

'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he smiles.

OK, 'she said.'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.'

To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?

Find The Guy Who...

When a GIRL stares at you ... she is wondering why you are lying. When a GIRL lays on your chest ... she is wishing for you to be hers forever. When a GIRL wants to see you everyday... she wants to be pampered. When a GIRL says " I love you " ... she means it. When a GIRL says " I miss you " ... no one in this world can miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once make sure you spend it with the right person. Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead. Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. Who holds your hand in front of his friends. Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Who turns to his friends and says, " That's her!! "

Wine or Water?

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine... (and those who don't).

Benjamin Franklin was perfectly correct when he said:

In wine there is wisdom,
in beer there is freedom,
in water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have ingested more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in faeces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.

However, we do NOT run the same risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.


So ............
Water = Poop,
Wine = Health.
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I just thought I'd do you a special favour